`yuumei has described how her life has been ruined because of her mother re-marrying a horrid beast of man with his equally horrid children, thus she blames divorce allowing it to happen in the first place.
The thing is, she says she was perfectly all right with the divorce - it was the re-marrying that she had a problem with.
So, logically, wouldn't you have a problem with hasty marriages that were originally founded on superficial reasons?
A lot of people are saying that divorce should be made illegal or at least really difficult to obtain if the reasons for divorce aren't because of infidelity or physical abuse because it's almost always a grueling, dragged out process that only serves to punish the children in the end.
By restricting access to divorce you are only attempting to cure the symptom and not the disease itself.
And the disease is irresponsible marriages.
Society teaches us at a very early age that marriage is the only thing that can make you truly happy in life - that if you're not married, you're not living up to all of the things life gives you.
Not only that, but the next one is having children. If you're not having children, then you're being selfish and you're choosing to miss out on the "beauty" of being a parent.
What I'm saying is: Don't blame divorce. Divorce is possibly the most responsible thing your parents could ever do after years of irresponsible, selfish, and uneducated decisions concerning their lives and your life.
To take away the option for them to get a divorce because they made a mistake and because it will make you unhappy is to only allow hatred and resentment to fester between them, thus only making it worse for everyone. If they're unhappy, why would you force them to stay together? To do so would be to take you selfish.
Instead of advocating against divorce when it's considered a Godsend to nearly 50% of all U.S. marriages, you should be advocating for proper education on marital and parental life so that people don't get married on a whim. And if people waited to get married (and have children), there would not be such a high demand for divorce.
but my mother said she loved him and was so happy to marry him.She loved him even afyer they divorced. They dated for about three years, and it was not hasty.
Ever since my parents annulled, and both still wanted me, so I go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, it's been terrible. Schedules change like clothes, and I'm so used to being the only person in the room that I don't act too well around others to the point of not wanting them around.
My parents just 'split up' rather then divorce(as they did not want to go through all the paperwork) when I was 6 as they didn't love each other anymore. I was so against my mother dating another man but I stopped caring as I got older,and at least I got to see my dad a lot even though I lived with my mom. My dad ended up dating another women,who I don't like mind you. Sometimes divorce is the best option and should indeed stay legal.
The thing is,if more people married out of love then superficial reasons,the divorce rate would be lower. You also have to know the person you're marrying well. Otherwise,it won't turn out well. At least date for a few months to a few years before marriage.
I had a friend, who's father is divorced, but has married 4 other women and dated countless more. He gets married, for about 2 months it begins to go badly then -BOOM- divorce. Just recently he divorced with another woman! Now dating again!
Like seriously, find a good partner and stay with him/her! Don't just pointlessly marry someone without fully knowing him/her!
Although these past few years have been rough, but my mom has faith that her marriage will last till the day she dies.
Sure theres the rough times, but rough times pass!
*Cough* Zeus and Hera *Cough*
Society keeps saying marriage and children will make you happy, but in reality it will make other people who aren't in that situation happy because with marriage they will have the next generation to spew their lies and bullcrap at and it will only benefit them because that's the norm we've been taught since birth.
That's when I realize that divorce is a good thing because if two people are in a miserable marriage, regardless of the situation, why even bother staying when it will kill them inside. And if they have kids what will being in an unhappy marriage teach them when they grow up and get into a relationship? That you must stay for the kids no matter what even if it will hurt the kids seeing their parents fight and say they hate each other or if they are childless it's the right thing to do anyways? That to me is awful.
While marriage can be a good thing for people who love each other, divorce is a grand thing when the marriage is so toxic it can ruin lives and divorce is the option that can save everyone the pain and misery.
But the problem won't stop until parents stop telling their daughters to marry a man if he has a lot of money as well as get pregnant to trap him and when they stop telling boys to marry a woman if she's attractive without getting to know her, and educate them about what love is and that it's a good reason to be with someone.
I love my daughter, though. I wouldn't trade her for the world. I hope she learns from the mistakes I made and doesn't grow up to make the same ones.
plus, it prevents your organs from being messed up and displaced during pregnancy
Agreed, though it's not just being married irresponsibly that causes such problems, it's also having a romantic relationship right after your divorce/separation that's a problem, especially when you bring a new life into it. Nobody in my family has ever been married save for my maternal grandparents and paternal aunt. In fact, I was born 3 years after both my parents graduated from college and my sister was born when they were already tired of each other. Well, my parents had a nasty separation when I was 9 (they weren't married) that didn't end well. My mother soon got involved with this coworker of hers named Vincent who eventually moved in with us. He wasn't too bad in the beginning, but after my half brother was born less than a year later, he started screaming at us and beating us. He never physically harmed my half brother(in fact, he spoiled him and put him on a pedestal), but my half brother was very afraid of him. He forgave his father, but he still feels tremendous guilt because of what his father put us through(he's going to be 12 in April). My stepfather's been out of the house for 3 years now (he nearly killed my sister), and my parents have made up, but they didn't get back together. They actually get along better than they did when they first got together and had me.
I know this stamp talks about irresponsible marriage, but even living under the same roof with someone you barely know(a romantic partner of course) is a problem. And yes, having kids in such a situation makes it worse, because too many times, the so-called stepparent acts as if they're God's gift for reproducing and treat the kid's other biological parent (usually the mother) and the older half-siblings like complete and utter shit. I've even warned my brother about getting involved with a woman with kids or getting involved with someone right after he's become a single father because I don't want to see my future niblings (nieces and nephews) go rough the same thing we did. Thankfully despite being coddled by his dad and despite witnessing all that violence, my brother's such a sweetheart, and is really sensitive. As for my sister and mother, they're both okay, but none of u can truly forgive my stepfather for what he's done.
It's for reasons like this that I say marriage should wait until you're mentally, physically, emotionally, AND financially ready to settle down and be a family. In my opinion, marrying before age 23 or 24 is just too soon.